Your Own Valentine

I gotta be honest with you…

For the first time in years, I actually haven’t been dreading Valentine’s Day.

This is because I forgot it was happening.

I would say “Sorry if that makes me awful” but I won’t because I know it doesn’t make me awful. I worked in a sex shop for the last five Valentine’s Days in a row. That is the equivalent of the Christmas Rush™ in literally any other retail business. If you ask me, I deserve to forget about Valentine’s Day.

But none of us can ever truly forget, because capitalism. And now that I’ve been reminded, I must devise a plan to make the day a more bearable joyful experience for those of us who may be unattached. Because whether you are content or embittered by the relationship status (or lack thereof), the day tends to be genuinely unkind to us as a whole.

  1. Dress up for no reason.
    We all deserve to feel positively banging. Some might suggest that single folk such as us ought to take ourselves on a date for Valentine’s Day. Why not aim higher? Why not treat the entire day like it’s a date with yourself? And the first thing we all think about when we go on a date is, of course, “what am I going to wear?!” Pick out a favorite outfit of yours, take a selfie for good measure (if you feel so inclined), and find that extra skip in your step.
  2. Show people who are important to you that you care about them.
    I don’t mean this in an “International Tell-Your-Crush Day” kinda way. It doesn’t even have to be overt. Any sort of subtle (or not-so-subtle) gesture that shows someone you’re thinking about them. A friendly text message about something you share in common. A hug. A comment on a social media post. A sexy photo sent to a consenting party. One of the ways I show a couple of my friends that I’m thinking about them, and know they’re thinking about me, is by playing Words With Friends constantly. It’s the little things.
  3. Do something nice for yourself.
    Originally I was going to say “Buy something nice for yourself” but then I checked my privilege, because I know not all of us have the means. Believe me, I have been there. But I think that we all deserve to be spoiled on February 14th, and sometimes that means we have to spoil ourselves. This might involve purchasing something that makes you feel fabulous, or it could be watching your favorite movie (the kind that makes you feel good, not a ‘woe is me’ kinda romance flick.), or cooking yourself a nice meal. I’m a disaster in the kitchen but I understand many people take pleasure in this.
  4. Remember: there are so many different kinds of love in the world.
    This is one that I need to remind myself of constantly. Sometimes the absence of a romantic partner can make us feel unreasonably insignificant. It’s truly twisted how so many of us have fallen for this societal scam, but it says very little about who we are in the grand scheme of things. There are so many people in our lives who care about us in completely different ways for completely different reasons, and they are no less meaningful in our lives than any significant other might be.
  5. Do you.
    I’m not actually referring to masturbation here, but if that’s what you want to do, you know I ain’t gonna stop you. My point is, do whatever makes you feel good. If not of the things I listed above would bring you happiness, then tell me to fuck off and choose something that you would find more satisfying. Holidays should bring happiness to everyone, not just a fraction of the population. If a holiday is going to claim to be a celebration of love, it needs to honor everyone’s right to love and to be loved, or it is a sham.

And I know what you’re thinking… “But Valentine’s Day IS a sham.” I’m not going to argue with you. But if we must endure it, we might as well get some warm fuzzies out of it. And hella chocolate.

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